WinterOfOurDiscontent (winter_hermit) wrote,

National Coming Out Day and why the Binary is a crock of shit

Happy National Coming Out Day!

So I'm bisexual. Which you probably knew if you've spent more than five minutes with me at a con. I'm open-ish about it, and have been getting open-i-er as I go along, as one does the less one gives a shit. I've known I was attracted to women as well as men since I was... oh, maybe fourteen? But I've primarily had relationships with male-identifying persons, so there's been a lot of bi invisibility (because as you know, bisexuals don't exist) which, coupled with the lingering and idiotic sense that I'm not allowed to call myself bi unless it's like, fifty-fifty, instead of sixty-forty or whatever, means I'm probably less out than I would be otherwise, except in fandom settings where I'm pretty super out.

So yeah. Bi. I'm more likely to be attracted to men than women, but I am definitely sexually and romantically interested in persons of pretty much any gender expression I've run across.

And speaking of gender and unrealistic binaries... so I've struggled to some degree with gender identity for.... oh, a while now. More as I learned that there are terms and theories and all the wonderful stuff you come across on tumblr. And again, part of the problem has been that I knew I wasn't trans, and I didn't seem to be genderqueer in the sense of being fifty fifty (fucking binary), and I still felt more female than male, so was there really anything to talk about and maybe I was just overthinking it...

Fuck it. I'm genderfluid. I've run across the term "demigirl" and believe it to be a potentially useful descriptor. If I figure out something better I'll start using that.

Sexuality is a spectrum, and gender is a spectrum, and I don't fall exactly in the middle but I'm not at either end either. And if there are words that help explain myself, I'd like to use them.

What does this mean for YOU, dear reader? Pretty much nothing, in the sense that I don't see this changing anything. I'm who I was yesterday and will be tomorrow, allowing for the vagarities of time and character development. I will answer to literally any gender pronouns, no, seriously, I feel like picking would be limiting myself. (Realising that was kind of a clue. Just like realising that part of the reason I like cosplaying men is that it's a super safe way to play with gender expression.)

Anyway, love you all, have a nice day.
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